


The In-Between

by Rhi_rhi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Gen, Identity Issues, OC, Sith, identity crisis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-05-11 20:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5640661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhi_rhi/pseuds/Rhi_rhi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lady Evony is Darth Vader's apprentice. She follows his orders, trains, and has a kill count twice her age. It's the only life she knows; one of hatred, fear, and ruthlessness. But when she see's an old man killed, an old man who is so painfully a Jedi, she sets in motion a chain of events that will change everything she knows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

 

 

The first thing you should know about the Empire is that it is entirely made up of people, just like the Rebellion. People who were power hungry and selfish, but people none the less. Most of them were from the Core Worlds and blinded by the heavy Empire propaganda they saw, and their only real fault was ignorance. Others were only even there because they had no other choice; either join the Empire or die, from starvation or invasion. The only person I ever believed was truly evil was the Emperor. Darth Vader was stiff, mean, and he allowed no room for error, but I never thought he crossed the line into truly evil. The Emperor was the one that was obsessed with power and control, and he made me join his cause and become Darth Vader’s apprentice, but that’s another story. 

_"Apprentice."_ Vaders voice suddenly cut through my thoughts. I froze and closed my eyes. 

_"Yes, master."_

_"Go to the detention level."_ He ordered. " _I want you to oversee the interrogation of the prisoner. But make sure she is left relatively unharmed and not permanently damaged."_ Meaning that I wasn’t allowed to use the Force to find information, because if I messed up then she could be mentally impaired and no longer physically able to tell us anything. 

_"Yes, master."_ I replied, and his presence left my mind. I swept out of the control room dramatically and made my way down to the detention level. 

Even after ten years of being his apprentice, Vader still didn’t like me walking around without him, but I had somehow convinced him that I didn’t need to be in his shadow at all times anymore because I ranked higher than everyone else besides him and the Emperor. I liked to think that he didn’t want me by myself around all those unsavory characters that thought they could do anything to me without my master around, but he probably just didn’t want me to even think I could be self-reliant.

Earlier, we had picked up a few new prisoners from a Rebellion ship, but I hadn’t been able to interact with them or even be there when we had boarded them.  Apparently, one of the representatives from the imperial senate was there, and now she was being held in the detention level because she supposedly knew where the rebel base was. She was the princess from Alderaan, but that was all that I knew about her.

I brought up my mental shields tighter as I stepped into the lift and let one of the black mouse droids join me. It greeted me in binary, which I didn't return. It continued beeping away, telling me the latest gossip from the higher-ups. I let it continue, not really absorbing the information. Mouse droids could talk for hours if you let them; they were mostly used for deliveries and small repairs, but no one cared that much about a droid overhearing anything, therefore they knew things sometimes before I did. I was able to gain a reputation among the higher-ups as one of those people who just knew things, even the things I couldn't possibly know. They probably thought I was using the Force, but I found the whole situation too funny to explain that it was just the mouse droids. We parted ways when the lift came to a stop a floor too early and it darted out, and I continued on to the detention level.

A few officers in dark gray uniforms and a floating black torture droid were waiting outside detention cell 2187 for me. I nodded and they opened the door. I walked down the steps first, followed by two of the officers. Inside, a young girl who was only a couple years older than me was lounging on the bed like it was a plush couch at her estate rather than a prison cell. She had brown hair pulled up into two buns on either side of her head, and she was wearing a long white dress and white boots. 

“Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced.” She said with a thin smile when she saw me. Her voice was laced with sarcasm and cool contempt. I only blinked and stared at her with a blank expression. 

“Where is the rebel base?” I asked. She sat up.

“Right to the point then?” She folded her arms. I waited a couple seconds, but it was obvious that she wasn’t going to speak. I sighed, almost regretfully. The droid drifted into the room, with a needle filled with clear liquid. 

“Where is the rebel base?” I repeated softly. She was at least afraid, now, but she still didn’t say anything. I motioned the droid forward. 

It had only been five minutes, but I could already tell the hallucinogenic wasn’t going to work. The princess was hallucinating all right, but she somehow seemed to _know_ she was hallucinating, and she was fighting it. I frowned. 

“Leave us.” I muttered to the officers. They didn’t argue or ask any questions. The droid followed them out, and I sat down in the middle of the floor and closed my eyes, so I almost looked like I was meditating. I reached out to her mentally and nearly recoiled with how strong she was with the Force. She was completely untrained, and already a great deal of potential was lost because of it, but she was still undoubtedly strong.

When I recovered, I helped her focus on the present and get rid of the effects of the drug. _This is a hallucination._ I said to her. _It’s not real. Focus on my voice, and clear your head of anything else._ I wasn’t sure how long I sat there in silence, but eventually she came around. 

“What?” She whispered to herself. I didn’t move or open my eyes. “Did you just…?”

“I helped you overcome the effects of the drug.” I said. “It’s still in your system, so you might feel a little woozy, but you’ll be fine.” 

“Is this a trick?” She asked, her voice back to its tone of sarcasm and I’m-better-than-you. “A way to befriend me and get me to tell you where the rebel base is?”

“No, no.” I shook my head. “Nothing like that. It’s just, I’ve seen people like you, princess. And despite what Vader or the emperor would say, they don’t break.”  _And maybe some of it has to do with the fact that I’ve had those hallucinogenics used on me before, and I know what they’re like_. But I didn’t say that part out loud. 

“Who are you?" She asked, then she became completely condescending. “Aren’t you Vaders little pet? The one he commands to go around and do his dirty work? Didn’t you join him to gain more power?”  

.

_I was five years old. I was standing in a cold, metallic hallway and shaking in fear. I didn’t know where my parents were, or where I was, but it was dark and cold. The man standing in front of me was easily four times my height, dressed completely in black, and he breathed so loudly it was a threat in itself._

_“They will not come back for you. Your family is gone.” He said darkly. “You could be a powerful ally, in time. Join me, and gain more power and freedom than you can imagine, or…” He flicked his wrist, and a beam of red light appeared in his hand. I knew that if it touched me, it would hurt._

_Later, I would realize how drastically I had underestimated how much pain it could cause._

_._

I shook my head and opened my eyes. “No.” I murmured. Her eyebrows shot up. “I joined Vader so I wouldn’t die.” I shook my head again. I shouldn’t be telling her anything; but there was something about her and her presence that made me open up. It wasn't even a lot of information, but it was more than I had ever told anyone. 

“Who are you?” She asked again, slowly. I didn’t answer her; partially to be dramatic, partially out of fear that I would tell her more than I meant to again. Instead, I just smirked and walked out of the detention cell. Just outside of it, I bowed my head and clasped my hands in front of me. 

_"Master."_ I called out in the Force. 

_"Padawan."_ Vader responded. " _I take it the prisoner didn’t reveal the location of the rebel base."_

_"No. She is stronger than I expected."_

_"No matter. Report to the viewing port immediately."_ With that, I felt his presence retract from mine, and the conversation ended. I knew why Vader wanted me to go to the viewing port, and I nearly made me scared. But I couldn’t afford to feel such an emotion in front of so many officers and stormtroopers, and especially not with my master close enough to feel it. 

When I made it a few minutes later, I strode out to the port and straight up to my master and Grand Moff Tarkin.  

“Padawan.” Vader greeted in the same even, robotic tone he always used around me. 

“Master.” I said, bowing my head.   

“I want you to witness the full power of this Death Star.” He said and pointed towards the back wall. “Stand over there and watch, but do not interfere.” I did as he told without asking questions. I had just reached the wall when Vader left the room, and I assumed it was to escort the princess to the viewing port. It took only about five minutes, but eventually I could sense them approaching. The princess was full of anger and a hint of fear, and my master was a cold void that caused a sense of terror if focused on too much. Just as the doors opened, I realized there was a planet being focused on through the windows, and I quickly recognized Alderaan. I frowned inwardly, because as far as I knew, there were only speculations that it had any ties to the Rebellion, and it didn’t have any weapons. General Motti went up and said something to Tarkin just as the princess reached him.  

“Governor Tarkin,” She greeted coolly. He bowed slightly, although I could tell he didn’t mean it.  “I should have expected to find you holding Vaders leash.  I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.” I had to keep my surprise and amusement tightly behind my mental walls, although they were tempered by the sadness that came with knowing what was about to happen. I’ve never heard someone so openly sass Tarkin so directly, and I was unfortunately beginning to like her. Tarkin, however, only smiled.  

“Charming, to the last. You don’t know how hard I found it signing the order to terminate your life.” He said, reaching up and gripping her chin. She pulled her head away firmly.   

“I’m surprised you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself.” She fired back.  

“Princess Leia.” Tarkin began, ignoring her comment. “Before your execution, I would like you to be my guest at a ceremony that will make this battle station operational. No star system will dare oppose the Emperor now.”  

“The more you tighten your grip Tarkin,” The princess said. “The more star systems will slip through your fingers.” I smirked inwardly. She was brave, I had to give her that. She didn’t outwardly show a single once of fear, even as a prisoner sentenced to death and with Vader breathing menacingly right behind her.  

“Not after we demonstrate the power of this station.” Tarkin, however, was beginning to get a little angry. “In a way, you have determined the choice of the planet that will be destroyed first. Since you are reluctant to provide us with the location of the rebel base, I have chosen to test this stations destructive power on your home planet of Alderaan.” At that, Leia gasped and lunged forward.  

“No!” She gasped. “Alderaan is peaceful, we have no weapons, you can’t possibly-” 

“You will name another target, a military target, then name the system!” Tarkin interrupted. Leia opened her mouth, then closed it silently. Tarkin walked forward, making her stumble back against Vader. “I grow tired of asking this, so this is going to be the last time. Where is the rebel base?” Leia stared at Alderaan over his shoulder, and I could feel her fear and indecisiveness even though I couldn’t see her face.  

“Dantooine.” She said, caving, looking down.  “They’re on Dantooine.”  

“There, you see Lord Vader? She can be reasonable.” He turned back to General Motti. “Continue with the operation, you may fire when ready.” Motti nodded and went back to the controls.

“What?” Leia shouted.  

“You’re far too trusting.” Tarkin was so old so he couldn’t move his face too much, but if he could smirk he would have been. “Dantooine is too remote to make an effective demonstration, but don’t worry, we will deal with your rebel friends soon enough.” 

“No-” Leia lunged forward again, but Vader caught her shoulder and pulled her back. I looked back to Alderaan. It had such a strong force signature, with all those vibrant lives and I could practically feel the planet itself humming.  _This is wrong_ I thought as the people at the controls flipped their switches. The buttons flashed a few times, the core hummed, and suddenly three green laser beams shot forward to collect in the middle, but I focused on Alderaan. I had been there a couple times before, and it was a beautiful planet with kind, peaceful people. Suddenly, it wasn’t there anymore. The Force surged around me violently, making my skin go cold. I closed my eyes and turned my head slightly. What the Emperor, Vader, Tarkin, and everyone in command were doing was _wrong,_ and I knew it, but I also knew that of all the times in my life, I would have to stay quiet now. Since the Death Star was operational, it wouldn’t be just me that suffered if I spoke up.                                            

Afterwards, I had been dismissed and I found myself in my quarters. The living room was large and perfectly square, with two couches facing each other in the middle, and a low table in between. The door to the ‘fresher was on the wall to my left when I walked in, and the door to my bedroom was directly in front of me. As soon as the door to my chambers closed behind me, I stumbled and fell to the floor. Everything felt so _wrong_ , like someone had taken my insides and turned them upside down. The destruction of Alderaan had thrown the Force wildly out of balance, and that was saying something, since it hadn’t exactly been balanced in the first place. 

Something was on my face. I reached up and wiped away tears that I hadn’t even known where falling. I was crying, over a bunch of strangers and a planet that didn’t mean anything to me. _No._ Shook my head. I was crying over a billion beautiful, _bright_ lives that had been taken away because some man had to prove something. 

“Lady Evony.” My communicator startled me out of my thoughts, and I silently berated myself for being surprised and rubbed my face. “Lady Evony!” 

“What.” I growled darkly into the communicator. 

“Your presence has been requested by Lord Vader in the detention level.” I frowned. _Why didn’t he just talk to me himself?_

“Alright. I’ll be there.” I said and shut off the comm.

I made it halfway to the detention level before I ran into my master. Vader was walking down a hallway, breathing ominously. He turned to me and I bowed my head. 

“Master.” I greeted quietly.  

“I want you go to the prisoner and make sure she was telling the truth about the rebel base. This time, do whatever you see fit.” He ordered. Now that she had given us the information, all I had to do was double check it, and I had less of a chance of slipping up. 

_“_ Yes, master.” I replied. He nodded and kept on walking.

This time, no one was waiting for me outside her cell. Inside, the senator was lounging on the bed again, and she still looked calm and collected, but there were small lines forming at the corner of her eyes and mouth, and a storm was brewing inside her eyes. 

“You told us that the rebel base was on Dantooine. Are you telling the truth?” I asked. She didn't even more or look at me. She still wasn’t going to tell me anything, obviously. I restrained myself from rolling my eyes.

“Were you telling the truth?” I repeated softly. “You know what I can do to you if you do not co-operate.” She just lifted her chin. 

“I think it’s already been established that I’m not telling you.” She retorted, still not looking at me. I mentally sighed and reached out with the Force. She drew in a hiss of breath when I touched her mind, which quickly became a gasp of pain as I went further. 

I felt mostly despair, over the loss of her home world, and anger that was just beginning to surface. The strength of her emotions surprised me, because she looked so calm on the outside, but I moved on. Not even she was immune to basic psychology, so by asking her about the base, she was thinking about the base, and its location. She hadn't been telling the truth. There were rebels stationed on Dantooine, but the main rebel base was on Yavin IV. I pulled back, but before I opened my eyes again, I sensed another presence from the other side of the ship. It was different than my master’s, or the emperor’s, or any of the other Imperials, who had the Force sensitivity of a rock. It was strong and warm, which was something I had never felt in a Force presence; my master and the emperor were cold and daunting in the Force. I had always just assumed that’s what presences felt like. But this one was so warm I felt like I was physically standing next to an open fire. Before I knew what I was doing, I was reaching out to that presence, and it was reaching out to me. We touched, for a moment, and it was like my limbs were thawing after being out in a snow storm. Who ever belonged to that presence was old and powerful, but in a different way than the emperor. There was a vast knowledge and wisdom that the emperor didn’t have, but there was also a throbbing sadness that suggested a tragedy had occurred. Just when I caught myself wondering what that tragedy had been, I realized what I was doing. I snapped back to myself in horror. If my master found out, he would not be pleased. 

I opened my eyes to find the princess staring at me apprehensively. I didn’t offer an explanation, and she didn’t ask for one. The room felt a little colder than I remembered, and when I stood up it felt a little smaller. I hid a shudder. 

“Thank you, princess, for the information.” I said cooly, and her eyebrows shot up. Before she could say anything, I turned and left. I didn’t have time to stand and collect myself properly, so I had to clasp my hands behind me and hide my emotions behind a mask of calm intimidation. But I didn’t even have to try, because I only made it to the hallway entrance when one of the elevators opened and revealed two stormtroopers and a Wookie. I froze. At first glance it seemed like a normal occurrence, but I knew immediately that they were no normal stormtroopers. One of them had a Force presence that was nearly blinding. Like the princess, he was wildly untrained, but there was a certain vague direction and awareness that meant that someone had begun his training. 

They were talking to someone stationed at the desk by the time I snapped out of it. They were probably here to rescue the princess, and if they succeed they would bring her to the rebel base, and they would be able to relocate or at least prepare to fight back. I didn't know how they could fight against the Death Star, but they would try. And they would probably be able to get most of the leaders off planet and to safety, which would make going there pointless. 

Without fully understanding my own actions, I took quick, calculated steps to the elevator. It appeared after a few seconds, and just as it closed the ‘stormtroopers’ pulled their blasters. 

I’ll never be sure what caused me to ignore the obvious events that I knew what the pretend-stormtroopers were about to do. I knew the consequences of those actions, but I walked away. Maybe it was because I knew that the rebels needed every chance they got against the Empire, and maybe I didn’t really didn’t want to see the Empire rule the entire galaxy. 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

  

I needed to be alone. And I needed to be alone somewhere that my master wouldn’t be able to find me for a while. Without really thinking about it, my feet carried me to an empty room just above the hangar, with a large window overlooking it so I could see the large, junky ship that had apparently recently been acquired. 

Later, I would wonder at the stroke of either manipulation by the Force or sheer luck that brought me to that room. I could have gone anywhere else in the whole Death Star, and yet I ended up in a room that would allow me to witness the events that changed my life. 

 

* * *

 

I was pacing when I felt the same warm presence I had felt earlier, only this time much closer. At the same time, I felt my masters presence, filled with more anger and hatred than usual. Slowly, I turned my head to the side, and I saw two figures standing across from each other on the other side of the hangar. One of them was unmistakably my master, the other was a shorter figure in an old brown robe. They were having some sort of duel, although it was slow and I knew that, at least, my master was capable of more. The figure was holding a blue lightsaber, and for a moment I was captivated by it. I had seen images of Jedi from the Old Republic, but only a couple, and even less images where their lightsaber had been activated. I hadn’t thought about it that much, but in real life it was fascinating. 

The two of them moved, and I finally caught a glimpse of the figures face. It was an old man, with gray hair and a gray beard, and he seamed weak, but he held his lightsaber with a strong grip that spoke of years and years of training. Somehow, he must have sensed me, and over the entire hangar our eyes connected. He grinned slightly, and suddenly his Force presence rushed at me. I tried to fight him off, but he was stronger than he seemed, and quickly his Force presence overwhelmed me. 

.

_I was a young child, probably only five or six years old, running through hallways that were unfamiliar yet I knew them like the back of my hand. Other children I called my friends were running along side me, even though I had never seen them before. The Force was singing around us, filled with so much peace that even a non-sensitive could have sensed it. I had never felt anything like it before. There was so much peace and calm that I was choking on it; there was nothing wrong, everything was okay…_

_I was a little older now, around eight, and I was practicing lightsaber moves with other children my age. The lightsabers were light and they seemed weaker than normal lightsabers, like they couldn’t hurt anyone if used in a fight. The moves we were practicing were basic and simple, something I could have done in my sleep._

_“Remember, younglings.” An old, croaky voice said out of my line of vision. “Allow the Force to guide your movements, you must. Rely on it. Feel it flow through you.” And I felt it. It was small and almost insignificant, but it was a different kind of Force than what I was used to. It was warm and tranquil and gave me energy, even though I wasn’t used to this kind of exercise yet…_

.

I snapped out of it, and I found myself on my back, on the floor of the room I had hidden away in. I had visions sometimes, but never while I was awake, and never that intense. Quickly, I scrambled up, just in time to see the old man lift up his lightsaber in a salute. My master swung his own weapon, and I felt myself gasp. There was so much that the old man knew, and so much that he had experienced, almost all of which was gone now. I knew that he had been the one to give me those visions, and just from those two scenes I felt like I had seen his whole life. He was a Jedi Master from the Old Republic, and he had fought in the Clone Wars, he had studied at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, he had trained around other Jedi, he had traveled around the galaxy on diplomatic missions, he had been someone with a story to tell…

And then my master finished his arc, and the brown robe fell to the floor. 


	3. Chapter 3

 

I managed drag myself to my chambers without collapsing. I had to keep up my usual appearance on the way there, but as soon as my door closed behind me it fell right off. I felt inexplicably sad for that old man, like his death had violently ripped something out of my life that hadn’t even been there before. I grabbed the first thing I could find -my communicator- and threw it against the wall. 

“This isn’t _fair._ ” I snarled to the empty room. “This doesn’t make any sense, and it’s not fair.” 

.

_I was about thirteen, and I was fighting with another white-haired boy my age in a large garden. Our lightsaber techniques were equally as good, for our age at least, but he was full of anger and aggression. I felt nothing but uncertainty, a hint of fear, pity, and an overwhelming calm. I was a little scared of what this boy could do, yes, and I pitted him, for not being chosen by a master and for not being able to accept his role in the AgriCorps. Bu I was calm, too, because I knew that whatever happened next would be the will of the Force, and it was meant to happen. The boy- Bruck Chun -kept trying to get past my defenses and hurt me, in any way possible it seemed, but his rage made him sloppy, and I had the upper hand. My last maneuver pushed him back few paces, but suddenly, he slipped, and he began falling down a cliff that neither of us had really seen. He managed to hold on to the edge, though, and I lunged forward to try and help him up. As much as I didn’t like Bruck, I didn’t want him dead. But I didn’t make it in time, and Bruck fell the rest of the way down. Even years later, when I had been knighted and given my own padawan, I would blame myself for his death, and I would never be quite sure if his arms had simply given out, or if he had let go on purpose._

.

When I came back to myself, I tossed my hand out and my couches flew to opposite sides of the room. I slammed my other hand down on my table, and it cracked and buckled.

“This has nothing to do with me!” I growled. The sadness had been replaced with anger. Why should I be getting visions of some boy who got himself killed decades ago? Why should I care about _Bruck Chun_? His technique had been sloppy and rushed, and if he had used his higher thinking and actually looked at his surroundings he would have lived. Even if he had been chosen as an apprentice, he would have made a terrible Jedi, with all his anger. 

The sadness was back. It came so suddenly and so strongly that it brought me to my knees. I lowered my head and closed my eyes. Poor Bruck; if he had just been given a chance, an opportunity to grow and realize his mistakes, then maybe his story could have turned out different…

“ _But this has everything to do with you._ ” A voice said, but it sounded muffled, like it was talking through a pillow. “ _Young, angry, and confused? Sound like anyone you know?_ ” I looked up incredulously, but there was no one there. Instead, my table was solid again, and my couches were all back to their original places.  

“ _The Force is with you, young one._ ” The mystery voice spoke again, and this time I saw a faint outline of the old man from the hangar in the corner. “ _Now it’s time for you to find yourself in the Force._ ” 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

Vader didn't ask for me again that night. I stayed in my quarters, curled up on my bed and feeling miserable. I didn't get any more visions, but I knew that I would eventually. 

My room was almost perfectly bare, so there was nothing to distract me from the dark hole in my stomach that left me feeling hollow, nostalgic for a time and place I had never known, and just a twinge melancholy. I wasn't fond of going around and choking officers like my master was, and I really didn't like electrocuting people like the Emperor. I tried picking up my datapad and reading the report about the escape the two false stormtroopers had made with the princess, but, unsurprisingly, I found that dull and boring. I even went down to the training level to see if I could burn off my emotions. I had a training salle all to myself, where my master would instruct me, and it was filled with everything you would need in hand-to-hand combat training or lightsaber practice. I spent over an hour down there, going through all the lightsaber forms I knew, and all their variants, but when I finished I was no where near being myself again. 

I hauled myself back to my quarters and forced myself to take a shower. I never liked water, or the feeling of being wet, so my showers were usually quick or sonic. But I took my time, letting the water pounding on my back lull me into a sort of trance. It was the most peaceful I had felt in a long time. 

"No use dwelling on it." I murmured to myself. "What's done is done. I'll only make it worse by thinking about what could have been or what should have happened." I wasn't sure where this sudden wisdom came from, but it certainly wasn't something I had been taught. 

* * *

On a regular ship, it would have taken no more than a day to make it to Yavin IV, but the Death Star moved much, much slower. It couldn't reach light speed, because of its size, so it would take a few days. It was one of the few drawbacks; that, and the fact that it couldn't use a cloaking device because, again, it was so large. The next day, I tried to lock myself away in the training salle. It worked for keeping people away from me, but I kept getting visions of lightsaber training that I had never been to.  

 .

_I was eleven this time. My age mates and I were learning a new kata, in one of the larger training salles. All twenty of us moved in complete unison, swinging our practice 'sabers. It would become the basis for every other kata and form that we learned, so it was important that we knew it well. It was simple, and I knew it by heart already. The Force hummed appreciatively through my veins, and I felt more safe and at peace than I ever have in my life._

_._

The vision ended, and I felt hollow, again, when I found myself back in my training salle on the Death Star. I cocked my head to the side and went through the kata in my mind. It  _was_  simple, but it was nothing like the katas I already knew. It focused solely on defense and minimal movement, while the ones I had learned were all about the offensive. Slowly, I got into the starting stance. It felt awkward, and the rest of the moves felt foreign and clumsy. 

_"You're leaning too far forward."_ A quiet voice said. " _Keep your head and shoulders in line with your hips."_ I did, and it felt a little less clumsy. 

When I finished, I looked around for the voice. I knew it was the old man from the hangar, but voices didn't just come out of no where. Finally, I spotted him in the corner of the room. 

"Who do you think you are?" I demanded. He raised an eyebrow. "You can't just come onto my ship,  _die,_ and leave me with these visions of a life I never lived!"

"You were the only one available who had a strong connection to the Force, Dark or otherwise. I apologize for the visions, but the knowledge must be preserved."

"The  _knowledge_? You mean the same knowledge that got the Jedi killed?" He visibly winced, but I didn't feel sorry. "I'll ask again: who are you?" 

"That is a much easier answer. I am Obi-wan Kenobi." 


	5. Chapter 5

 

We made it to Yavin IV in record time. It was a small moon that I had never been to before, but it supposedly had a nice climate and beautiful horizons. I tried to read more about it, but I couldn't focus. Kenobi kept sending me visions, but these had been more directed at whatever I was doing at the time. During lightsaber practice, it was lessons and drills from the old Jedi masters. When I was studying reports about rebel activities and the outer reaches of the Empire, it was political sessions in the Republic senate and someone teaching me how to read between the lines and sort the truth from sugar-coated words and out right lies. When I was on patrol, it was lectures on Jedi philosophy or traditions. Needless to say, I didn't get a lot done. 

 _"Padawan, meet me at the bridge."_ Vader suddenly ordered. I nodded to myself, even though I didn't need to, and stood up. My master was oddly fond of intimidation via overseeing things personally, so he spent most of his time on the bridge or in some sort of control room. I personally preferred staying my quarters, mostly because intimidation was my masters forte, and stormtroopers and officers made poor company. 

When I made it to the bridge, my master was just finishing up a conversation with an officer, and it surprisingly ended without any deaths. I strode up to him and bowed my head. 

"Master." 

"Padawan." He didn't look at me, but walked over to the viewing windows and folded his arms. I followed obediently behind him. He didn't speak for a few minutes, but when he did it was slow and measured. "You have been distracted, ever since the princess escaped." 

"Yes, master. My apologies. I've been finding it hard to focus on my duties lately." 

"See to it that it doesn't continue. I wan't you leading the squadron against the Rebels when they try to attack this Death Star." 

"They wouldn't really try it...Would they?" 

"They will. They are as stupid as they are weak." He whirled around and pointed at me. "I want you and your squadron out there when the order is given. Do not disappoint me." I bowed my head again, and he stormed off. I stayed behind and looked out at the stars for a few minutes, then turned and made my way back to my quarters. Something in my chest was fluttering in uncertainty. A week ago, I wouldn't have hesitated to carry out his orders. Now, I wasn't sure. 

 _"Trust in the Force."_ Kenobi's voice whispered in the back of my head when I made it to my quarters. " _Let it guide you, and it will not lead you astray."_

"Oh, right. Just like it didn't lead you astray?" I snorted and began pacing the length of my living room. "Last time I checked, you were a former military  _hero_ living in self-imposed exile on a backwater planet that boasted a wide variety of bounty hunters, thieves, and assassins." He was silent. "Oh yeah, don't think I didn't look you up; I did. I read all about you, Obi-wan Kenobi. My master has been looking for you for  _years_. You were a Jedi Knight in the Republic, made a master just after the Clone Wars started, your apprentice was Anakin Skywalker, you fought and eventually killed General Grievous, and I don't think anyone over the age of twenty five has forgotten who the famed  _Negotiator_ was." I took in a deep breath and stayed silent for a few seconds. 

"And, of course, you were the first Jedi to kill a Sith in over a thousand years." I turned slowly and saw him sanding in one corner. " _Darth Maul_.  _Naboo._   _The Royal Palace_. You have no idea what kind of connections I had to make and what kind of sources I had to read in order to find that out." He stayed silent, and I continued pacing. 

"The Force is wise and powerful, but in the end every decision falls upon your shoulders. It cannot make your choices for you, and it cannot guide you in everything." He finally said. "I made my choices, and I lived with them. Now, let me help you make yours." 

" _How?"_ I shouted. In hindsight, I should be thankful the walls were thick and no one made it a habit to walk past my room. "First of all, I don't think you were  _ever_  in a situation like this one. Secondly, I...I don't know! I don't even know where to start! Or what to do!"

"Then let me help." He stepped forward, and suddenly he seemed a little younger looking. There were less wrinkles around his eyes, and he held himself taller. "The easiest way to connect with the Force, I've always found, is meditation."

"Meditation?" I scoffed. "Do you know what I am?" 

"Even the Sith can meditate, I'm sure." The corner of his mouth turned up in a wry grin. "Just sit down and focus on the Force. I will help guide you." 

I grumbled to myself, but I did as told. The moment my eyes closed, all my surroundings fell away and my connection to the Force widened. Everything felt deeper, and so much  _more._  I could feel every living being on the Death Star, flickering like delicate little insect wings, and the Death Star itself swirling in a mass of terror. Inanimate objects didn't have a Force presence as a general rule, so either my master or Lord Sidious had devoted hours to seeping the cold metal in Darkness. 

The Force was still reeling from the destruction of Alderaan, and it felt like it was spinning around me and lashing out at itself. It felt just as confused as I did, only it seemed more like a battle ground than uncertainty.It was still Dark, sure, but there was something else...Just a hint of something good, something hopeful, something Light... 

 _Change_ , The Force whispered.  _Change is coming._

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

When I opened my eyes, it felt like it had only been a few seconds. But when I glanced at my chrono, it claimed to be three hours later. I frowned and shook my head.

 _“Meditation can be disorienting, especially if it’s done right_.” Kenobi murmured. ” _It takes practice.”_ I snorted and stretched. The Force was still fighting itself, and still largely uncertain, but I felt more centered and calm. I still had no idea what I should do, if I should do anything, but it was like I was dissociating from my problems.

Which, after a brief message on my comm, were pretty large. The squadron my squadron was all ready to go, and the battle had technically begun already. I rushed around, clipping my lightsaber to my belt and pulling on a black robe. I wasn’t sure what I was preparing for, but it was something big. I felt a sense of finality when I swept a final glance of my room. The Death Star wasn’t very new, so I hadn’t been living in it for a very long time, and it wasn’t like I had a lot of possessions anyway. I nodded to myself and dashed out of the room.

I took the long way to the hangar, but I wasn’t sure why until I came across a squad of troopers being led by one of the older generals. He had a cold and detached air around him, even with the helmet on, but for some reason Kenobi was nudging me to him.

“You, general!” I called out. He stopped, and the stormtroopers he had been leading also stopped. As I walked closer, Kenobi showed me a short memory of his.

.

_I was standing in the middle of a wide road that was littered with debris, deflecting blaster fire from battle droids with a blue lightsaber, moving faster than my eyes could follow. We were losing, no matter how fast those droids went down, and we needed those reinforcements. A clone soldier was fighting besides me, firing his gun, and occasionally using his fists to bring down a droid that got too close._

.

So he was a clone; that would make sense, if Kenobi knew him. Clones had started being cycled out of active duty years ago, and as they gradually got killed off, there were less and less of them. The lucky ones that didn't die in the line of fire were put on desk jobs, or sent to academies to train future stormtroopers, depending on how good they were. If this clone was not only still on active duty, but a general and stationed on the Death Star, then he must have been the best of the best.  _  
_

“What is your name?” I asked curtly.

“Identification number CC-2224, ma’am!” He replied sharply. I mentally sighed, and I waved the other stormtroopers on.

“That’s not what I asked.” I said quietly when they were out of earshot. He paused, then slowly took off his helmet. He had close cropped white hair, from a lifetime spent wearing helmets, a scar over one eye, and hard, confused eyes.

“What is your name?” I repeated.

“Cody, ma’am.” He said after a few seconds. “But no one’s called me that in years.”

“About nineteen, I’m guessing.”

 _"Can I trust him?"_ I ask Kenobi hurriedly.

 _"Yes."_ He replied just as fast. " _His chip was removed years ago. The only thing making him side with the Empire was fear and one of the strongest senses of loyalty to his brothers I’ve ever seen. I cannot tell you how many times the man before you has saved my life."_

 _"Don’t_." I retorted.

“Look, Cody, send out a message to your brothers. Tell them to evacuate.” He gave me a look, but I held up a hand. “I know you can. Do it. And then follow me.” I turned to walk down the hallway.

“Ma’am, I have duties to attend to. I cannot-” He started to protest.

“Obi-wan Kenobi.” I blurted, whirling back around and stepping closer so our faces were inches apart. His eyes went wide.

“W-what?” He stammered. He was a hardened soldier, trained from birth for command and battle, so I knew that name still had significant meaning to him if it got that strong of a reaction.

“Obi-wan Kenobi.” I made sure to enunciate each syllable clearly. “I know he was your commanding general in the Clone Wars, I know you served under him loyally for over three years, and I know you saved his life a countless number of times. If that name and all that he stood for ever meant anything to you, _ever_ , you will do as I say.” I turned back around and began walking. After a few heartbeats, Cody followed.

He had sent the evacuation message by the time we reached the hangars. My squadron fell into step behind me, with Cody off to the side, and I relished the feeling of being in charge of such a disciplined and talented group of pilots. They marched in three rows behind me, in matching black uniforms, and my black robe billowed out behind me dramatically. If there was one thing the Empire was good at, it was drama.

One by one, the pilots left the group for their ships. I motioned for Cody to go to a regulation TIE fighter, while I continued on to my personalized fighter. The Empire wasn’t too big on anything that wasn’t regulation, but I managed to get away with a few adjustments to the engine and the cannons.

My master’s own fighter was next to mine, and I paused for a second considering it. At some point, he would probably join the fighting if it got too intense, but he wouldn’t be able to do much of anything if something happened to his ship... I quickly shook that thought away and continued on. It wasn’t a commonly known fact, but Darth Vader was one of the most talented pilots the Empire had. If anyone would know if something was wrong with his ship, it would be him.

I followed Cody’s fighter out of the hangar. It was sort of liberating to be out in space, where it was just the engines and I, and no one had real, immediate power over me. It meant that no one was there to say anything when I turned off my comm and lifted up my mental shields so that they blocked the training bond I had with my master. Unfortunately, it didn’t block out Kenobi.

 _"You’ll have to do something about the clones you told to evacuate."_ He advised. " _And Cody won’t last long in that fighter."_

 _"Fine."_ I cursed myself for forgetting about that so soon and turned my comm back on.

“Cody.” I snapped. “Gather your brothers and go land on the planet. Find the rebel base,-”

“The rebels?”

“Yes, the rebels. Find them, tell them everything they want to know, just get under their protection.” I said sharply and turned my comm back off. The battle was already in full swing, but it was on a different side of the Death Star, so if the rebel pilots did pick up the clones they wouldn’t be able to go and reach them.

My pilots knew what to do. They flew in formation straight to the dogfight and engaged the rebels just like they were trained. I hesitated. I wanted the Death Star destroyed, Tarkin along with it, but what was I going to do? Turn on my own pilots?

 _"Your loyalty is admirable."_ Kenobi said. " _But in this, you must do what is right."_

 _"Could you do it?"_ I shot back. " _Could you betray the pilots you’ve spent countless hours training with? They’re people, just like you and me, just on the wrong side."_

 _"What must be done, must be done."_ Was all he said. I growled.

 _"No."_ I turned the comms back on.

“Third Squadron!” I barked. “Do not engage the rebels!”

" _What_?” Someone asked incredulously.

“Ma’am, with all due respect-”

“Do as I say!” I interrupted. “Do not engage the rebels! Fly escort to a group of ships flying down to the surface. They should be loaded and leaving right about now. When you get planetside, follow their lead.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

I watched them switch direction and fly back to where we had come from.

 _“They will not comply as easily as the clones will.”_ Kenobi warned.

“Yeah well, as long as they’re alive.” I retorted aloud.

_“What about the other pilots? They are not from your squadron.”_

“No, they aren't." I mumbled. They were strangers, people I had probably never even run into. They were in the lower ranking squadrons, meaning they weren't as  good as mine. 

They were expendable. 

I barreled into the dog fight with all the subtly of the Death Star itself, yet the other TIEs never saw me coming. I had three shot down before they even realized it was coming from my ship. I could practically hear the rebels calling to each other and shouting in confusion. 

"Come on." I muttered. "Whatever you came here to do, do it." The rebels were disorganized and scattered, and their numbers dwindling because of the fighting. "Come _on._ " Finally, one fighter flew down into a trench in the Death Star, and the rest flanked it protectively. I sighed in relief and circled above them, to target the other TIEs. _They_ were the ones who were disorganized and scattered now; their training had included everything but this. I managed to hit two more before they managed to get more organized. Even then, it wasn't much; they were trying to aim for me and the rebels. The rebel fighters were getting closer and closer to _something_ ; I wasn't sure what, but they were staying on their corse for a reason. They wanted to go after the rebels, but they also needed to get rid of me too. I was above them all, circling like a bird of prey, taking every opening I got. Eventually, they worked out that they needed to get rid of me in order to touch the rebels, but just as they began to get in formation, I sensed Vader. His presence was like cold water pouring down my spine, and the feeling of being watched in a dark room. In a sudden, surprising moment of clarity in the Force, I saw him marching down a hallway with two pilots from his own squadron behind him. 

I panicked. Vader wasn't like the other pilots I had been facing; he was really, really good. Not only that, but he was my master. He would know I was up here, and what I was doing. The consequences would be... Actually, I wasn't sure what the consequences would be. I had always tried to be the best at what I did, so that I could escape punishment. The punishments I had received in my life were severe, but not so that they would require a trip to the healers or keep me from peek performance for more than a day. But this was much bigger than anything I had ever done, so I wasn't really sure how Vader would react. He would probably bring me before the emperor, and if he did that then death was certainly on the table. An almost definite outcome, even. 

Kenobi met have sensed my panic, because he spoke up for the first time since the dog fight started. 

 _"Let me help."_  He offered, in a voice that made it sound like more of a command. _"Move to your left a little."_ I nudged my controlstick and waited for further instructions, but he was silent. Suddenly, I was hit with a blast from one of the canons on the Death Star, and I started careening towards Yavin IV. It was my right wing that had been hit, so the cockpit was essentially fine, and all the life support systems were functional. The only problem was that I had no control of the fighter anymore, and I was spinning so fast I could barely see what was happening. 

Then the Death Star exploded. 

I felt it in the Force more than saw it. One second it was there, this huge mass of life and darkness that I hadn't been consciously aware of, and then next it was gone, in a violent explosion. The Force howled, making my ears ring, and my stomach lurched. I was so focused on keeping myself together and not throwing up in the fighter, that I didn't notice I was entering  the atmosphere until flames began dancing at the corners of my eyes. 

"Kenobi!" I shouted. 

 _"Relax."_ He replied calmly. I was about to tell him exactly what I thought of relaxation at the moment, when I felt the Force thicken and move. _He_ was conducting it, I realized belatedly; I could feel his presence there with me. Outside, the flames dimmed down, then disappeared all together, and I could feel the fighter slow down. But the ground was still approaching too fast, and the metal was beginning to creak. 

"It's not enough!" 

_"I could use some help!"_

"I can't!" I cried even as I reached out to try. The Force responded when I called, but I wasn't able to fine-tune it as Kenobi did. 

It didn't matter anyway. When I glanced out the window, the ground was so close all I could do was wrap myself in the Force, in a protective bubble, and hope for the best. 

 _"Sleep."_ Kenobi ordered, and I knew no more. 

 


End file.
